Jardin du Luxembourg/Carrousel *auf Englisch*
Verfasst: 29. Okt 2011, 23:52
Hallo, ich bin Übersetzer, und da kommen Anfang und Ende dieses Gedichts in einem Kunstprojekt vor, das ich übersetze (7 Zeilen insgesamt).
Wenn ich so herumsuche, finde ich vor allem zwei Übersetzungen, die von Grego und W. Arndt:
1. The Merry-Go-Round -
Luxembourg Gardens
With a roof and its shadows dark turns
for a small moment the assembly
of colorful horses, all from that land
that hesitates long before it descends.
True, many are harnessed to the wagon,
yet still they all have courage in their faces;
a fierce, angry lion is one among them
and then and again a pure white elephant.
An elk is there, just like in the woods,
but now he wears a saddle on his back
and in it is tied a little girl in blue.
And on the lion rides dressed in white a boy
and a small, passionate hand himself does hold
while the lion roars and shows his tongue and teeth.
And then and again a pure white elephant.
And on the horses around again they come,
the girls, bright, all but grown too big
for such prancing; in the middle of the swing,
out they look, to somewhere, over there—
And then and again a pure white elephant.
And it goes on and hurries to its end,
and circles about itself and has no goal.
A red, a green, a gray is sent along,
an outline small and hardly yet begun—
And sometimes a laughing face will turn again,
a blessing, that dazzles and just as quickly fades,
in this blind, breathless play . . .
(all tr. Cliff Crego)
2.
MERRY-GO-ROUND
Jardin du Luxembourg
Beneath an awning and its shade revolving,
there passes every little while the stand
Of dappled horses, hailing from the land
Which lingers long before at last dissolving.
Some, to be sure, parade to harness bent,
But all display a mettlesome expression;
A fierce red lion rides in the procession,
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
You even have, as in the wood, a stag,
Though he is saddled too and bears along
A sky-blue little girl strapped to his back.
A boy in white is holding a thong
Onto the lion with his small hot hand,
The lion meanwhile baring teeth and tongue.
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
And here they swing alongside on the horses,
Some girls all bright among them, who appear
Almost too old for this; and in mid courses
They lift their eyes to something over here --
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
All this goes by and hastens to its ending
And turns and circles, aimless in its run.
Some red, some green, some grey is borne along us,
A sketchy profile hardly yet begun --
From time to time a smile is turned upon us,
A smile that blinds with blitheness, overspending
Upon this gasping sightless round of fun ...
(tr. WALTER ARNDT)
Auf den ersten und zweiten Blick halte ich die letztere für viel gelungener, melodischer und übrigens auch näher am Original. Angemessener einfach. Was meint die Fachwelt?
Na schön, der Sommer war sehr groß! Mal sehen, was der Herbst bringt
Schöne Grüße
Werner Richter
Wenn ich so herumsuche, finde ich vor allem zwei Übersetzungen, die von Grego und W. Arndt:
1. The Merry-Go-Round -
Luxembourg Gardens
With a roof and its shadows dark turns
for a small moment the assembly
of colorful horses, all from that land
that hesitates long before it descends.
True, many are harnessed to the wagon,
yet still they all have courage in their faces;
a fierce, angry lion is one among them
and then and again a pure white elephant.
An elk is there, just like in the woods,
but now he wears a saddle on his back
and in it is tied a little girl in blue.
And on the lion rides dressed in white a boy
and a small, passionate hand himself does hold
while the lion roars and shows his tongue and teeth.
And then and again a pure white elephant.
And on the horses around again they come,
the girls, bright, all but grown too big
for such prancing; in the middle of the swing,
out they look, to somewhere, over there—
And then and again a pure white elephant.
And it goes on and hurries to its end,
and circles about itself and has no goal.
A red, a green, a gray is sent along,
an outline small and hardly yet begun—
And sometimes a laughing face will turn again,
a blessing, that dazzles and just as quickly fades,
in this blind, breathless play . . .
(all tr. Cliff Crego)
2.
MERRY-GO-ROUND
Jardin du Luxembourg
Beneath an awning and its shade revolving,
there passes every little while the stand
Of dappled horses, hailing from the land
Which lingers long before at last dissolving.
Some, to be sure, parade to harness bent,
But all display a mettlesome expression;
A fierce red lion rides in the procession,
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
You even have, as in the wood, a stag,
Though he is saddled too and bears along
A sky-blue little girl strapped to his back.
A boy in white is holding a thong
Onto the lion with his small hot hand,
The lion meanwhile baring teeth and tongue.
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
And here they swing alongside on the horses,
Some girls all bright among them, who appear
Almost too old for this; and in mid courses
They lift their eyes to something over here --
And now and then a snow-white elephant.
All this goes by and hastens to its ending
And turns and circles, aimless in its run.
Some red, some green, some grey is borne along us,
A sketchy profile hardly yet begun --
From time to time a smile is turned upon us,
A smile that blinds with blitheness, overspending
Upon this gasping sightless round of fun ...
(tr. WALTER ARNDT)
Auf den ersten und zweiten Blick halte ich die letztere für viel gelungener, melodischer und übrigens auch näher am Original. Angemessener einfach. Was meint die Fachwelt?
Na schön, der Sommer war sehr groß! Mal sehen, was der Herbst bringt
Schöne Grüße
Werner Richter